Precious David-Ogaga

(excerpted from his new book, Born to Win! Find Your Success Code)

A determining factor that limits our potential and keeps us from being all we can be is the opinions of other people. It is sad to say but there are many negative people in this world who are not successful, and they would prefer that nobody else be successful, either.

Has there ever been a time in your life when you shared a dream with one or more people and they turned on you like a pack of wolves? After hearing your dream they all began to tell you why it was impossible and list all the reasons and obstacles that stood in your way.

Sadly, there are families that behave this way toward their own flesh and blood. Parents, brothers, and sisters tell their children and siblings all the things they don’t believe they can do. Sometimes it seems the only advice and support these people can offer guarantees failure. They might as well be saying, “You’re not good enough to do what you think you want to do. Who do you think you are, dreaming that kind of dream?” If you have people like this in your life, my advice is to keep your goals to yourself when you are around them. You do not want to become what I call a SNIOP. A SNIOP is a person who is Susceptible to the Negative Influence of Other People. A SNIOP is a person who is more concerned with pleasing people than living their life to its full potential. In other words, a SNIOP lets other people’s opinions control and limit their success.

As we prepare ourselves to win, a big part of that preparation is surrounding ourselves with people who are encouragers. While it is true that there are many negative people who take every opportunity to encourage failure, there are others who can help you be successful. Encouragers are people who have been successful themselves. They are people who stepped up and took risks and were able to accomplish things they may not have believed possible.

Encouragers are the kind of people you can share your goals with and they will encourage you to go for it. Encouragers will also share their own mistakes with you and tell you how they overcame them to achieve success. My youngest daughter is Julie Ziglar Norman. She is one of the greatest encouragers I have ever known, and I am so proud she is my daughter. Julie is also the editor of many of my books, and she traveled and appeared on stage with me for several years when I spoke using the interview format. Julie and her husband, Jim, faced a crisis in their marriage about fifteen years ago and decided to separate. They went to counseling and worked very hard to rejuvenate and restore their relationship. They were successful, and in 2011 they celebrated their twenty-eighth wedding anniversary. Their four children and twelve grandchildren are the beneficiaries of their success. Julie and Jim both believe that bad marriages can be saved if the couple is willing to do what they have to do to be successful. During the time of their separation, Julie shared with me the lack of encouragement she got from many of her friends. Many of them seemed happy she was separated and told her she might as well just get a divorce and find somebody else. Thank goodness she did not take their advice!

Today, when Julie has a friend who is having marital difficulty, she immediately begins to encourage them to try to solve their problems. She and Jim both share their experience freely with other people so they can know there are options that are better than divorce. Julie told me that her friends who have marital difficulty remark that she is the only person in their life encouraging them to stay married. It is a sad reality that a couple experiencing difficulty will get more advice to end their marriage than encouragement to fix it. Surround yourself with people who want the best for you and the people you love!

-  by Zig Ziglar

(excerpted from his new book, Born to Win: Find Your Success Code)

I’m amazed at how little thought is given to making decisions. How decisions are made, why decisions are made, and when decisions are made is often taken for granted. Everyone expects to think seriously about decisions like marriage, having a child, or accepting a job offer that moves them hundreds of miles away from family, but they give little thought to the actual process of decision-making and the basis for making good decisions. It takes time to learn to consistently make good decisions, because good decisions require a certain amount of wisdom. That’s why a good decision maker can offer you advice that you can trust.

Great advisors and coaches consistently make good decisions and good choices because they have acquired a good deal of wisdom throughout their lives. How do you acquire wisdom, and how does it work in the decision-making process? Wisdom is acquired by gaining knowledge and learning to apply that knowledge to the daily events of life. The daily events of life are filled with decisions, and these choices create the results of our lives.

The kind of knowledge that creates wisdom is information that is true and correct. Information that is false is not authentic knowledge, and because it is false, it is not wisdom. Lots of people acquire false information, believe it is true, and make bad decisions as a result of that information. People who make good decisions have the ability to test the information they get and filter out the parts that are not true. This ability leads to the skill of good decision-making. These are the kinds of people you want as advisors and coaches. People who are good decision makers can help you develop the ability to test bad information and reject it. When you develop this ability, you, too, will become a good decision maker.

- by Zig Ziglar

Integrity, a standard of personal morality and ethics, is not relative to the situation you happen to find yourself in and doesn’t sell out to expediency. Its short supply is getting even shorter, but without it, leadership is a façade. Learning to see through exteriors is a critical development in the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Sadly, most people continue to be taken in by big talk and media popularity, flashy or bizarre looks, and expensive possessions. They move through most of their years convinced that the externals are what count, and are thus doomed to live shallow lives. Men and women who rely on their looks or status to feel good about themselves inevitably do everything they can to enhance the impression they make—and do correspondingly little to develop their inner value and personal growth. The paradox is that the people who try hardest to impress are often the least impressive. Puffing to appear powerful is an attempt to hide insecurity.

In the Roman Empire’s final corrupt years, status was conveyed by the number of carved statues of the gods displayed in people’s courtyards. As in every business, the Roman statue industry had good and bad sculptors and merchants. As the empire became ever more greedy and narcissistic, the bad got away with as much as they could. Sculptors became adept at using wax to hide cracks and chips in marble and most people couldn’t discern the difference in quality.

Statues began to weep or melt under the scrutiny of sunlight or heat in foyers. For statues of authentic fine quality, carved by reputable artists, people had to go to the artisan marketplace in the Roman Quad and look for booths with signs declaring sine cera, meaning without wax. We, too, look for the real thing in friends, products, and services. In people, we value sincerity, derived from sine cera, more than almost any other virtue. We expect it from our leaders, which we are not getting in our political, media, business and sports’ heroes for the most part. We must demand it of ourselves.

Integrity that strengthens an inner value system is the real human bottom line. Commitment to a life of integrity in every situation demonstrates that your word is more valuable than a surety bond. It means you don’t base your decisions on being politically correct. You do what’s right, not fashionable. You know that truth is absolute, not a device for manipulating others. And you win in the long run, when the stakes are highest. If I were writing a single commandment for leadership it would be, “You shall conduct yourself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by your children and subordinates.” In simpler terms, if they shouldn’t be doing it, neither should you. I told my kids, “clean up your room,” and they inspected the condition of my garage. I told them that honesty was our family’s greatest virtue, and they commented on the radar detector I had installed in my car. When I told them about the vices of drinking and wild parties, they watched from the upstairs balcony the way our guests behaved at our adult functions.

It’s too bad some of our political and business leaders don’t understand that “What you are speaks so loudly that no one really pays attention to what you say.” And it is also true that if what you are matches what you say, your life will speak forcefully indeed.

It’s hardly a secret that learning ethical standards begins at home. A child’s first inklings of a sense of right and wrong come from almost imperceptible signals received long before he or she reaches the age of rational thought about morality. Maybe you’re asking yourself what kind of model you are for future generations, remembering that people are either honest or dishonest, that integrity is all or nothing, that children can’t be fooled in such basic matters. They learn by example.

To remind myself of my responsibility to live without wax, with sincerity and integrity, I took the liberty of rewriting Edgar A. Guest’s poem, “Sermons We See” to apply to setting an example as a real winner for my children and grandchildren.

I’d rather watch a winner, than hear one any day. I’d rather have one walk with me, than merely show the way. The eye’s a better pupil and more willing than the ear. Fine counsel is confusing, but example’s always clear. And the best of all the coaches are the ones who live their deeds. For to see the truth in action is what everybody needs. I can soon learn how to do it, if you’ll let me see it done. I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run. And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true. But, I’d rather get my lessons by observing what you do. For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give. But there’s no misunderstanding how you act and how you live. I’d rather watch a winner, than hear one any day.

Hey, politician, business leader, motion picture producer, television actor, rock star, sports star. Hey mom, hey dad. Don’t tell me how to live. Show me by your actions. You’re my role models.

- by Denis Waitley

There are 5 steps to delegating and supervising that guarantee that your expectations are met and success results are achieved.

Step One

The first step in delegation is to become perfectly clear about the results that you desire from the job. The greater clarity you have with regard to the results expected, the easier it is for you to select the right person to do the job.

Step Two

The second step is to select a person based on his or her demonstrated ability or success at doing this job. Never delegate an important job to a person who has never done it before. If the successful completion of the task is important to the success of your business, it is essential that you delegate it to someone who you confidently believe can complete the task satisfactorily.

Step Three

Third, explain to the person exactly what you want done, the results that you expect, the time schedule that you require, and your preferred method of working. The reason that you are in a position to delegate a task is because you have probably already mastered this task. Taking the time to teach and explain the best way to do the task based on your experience is an excellent way to ensure that the task will be done as you wish and on schedule.

Step Four

Step four is to set up a schedule for reporting on progress. If it is an important task, set up a deadline for completion that is a day or a week before your actual deadline. Always build some slack into the system. Then, check on the progress of the task regularly, very much like a doctor would check on the condition of a critical care patient. Leave nothing to chance.

Step Five

Step five, inspect what you expect. Delegation is not abdication. Just because you have assigned a task to another person does not mean that you are no longer accountable. And the more important the task, the more important it is that you keep on top of it.

What task can you effectively delegate to someone else? Which one of your employees can handle the task efficiently?

I’ve created a special report called “Exercising Your Influence” to help you become a better and more effective leader.

Copyright – BrainTracy

(excerpted from his new book, Born to Win! Find Your Success Code)

I’ve always said that man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness. I believe that almost as much as I believe in God. What I mean when I make that statement is that man has the opportunity to achieve greatness and is hard-wired to make it happen. Every person has unique gifts, and those gifts give him or her the power and the opportunity to accomplish great things, if he or she learns how to use those gifts and channel them in the right direction. Now you might say, “Zig, if that’s true, why doesn’t everyone achieve greatness?” Actually, that answer is easy. Everybody doesn’t want to be great, and many people who want to be great aren’t willing to do the work to make it possible!

The great coach of the Green Bay Packers, Vince Lombardi, wisely stated, “Winning isn’t everything but wanting to win is.” The simple truth is that you have to want to do something badly enough before you have the slightest chance of doing it! If you don’t want it badly enough, I absolutely guarantee that you will not be willing to do the planning and preparing it takes to get it.

Psychologists will tell you in a New York minute (which, for your information, is thirty-two seconds) that you invariably and inevitably move toward the strongest impression in your mind. The impressions that are most vivid in your mind are the things you want to do. That’s why desire is so powerful and plays a big role in planning. If you really want to do something, it means that it’s something you are going to think about most of the time. When you constantly think about something, you talk about it all the time and you get lots of new ideas about how to make it happen. When you have lots of ideas about something, it makes planning easier and more enjoyable. Desire also makes you willing to become accountable for your plan, and that makes you more willing to create the plan you need to win.

In my first book, See You at the Top, I said, “Desire is the ingredient that changes the hot water of mediocrity to the steam of outstanding success.” What this means is that desire is the catalyst that enables a person with average ability to compete and win against others with more natural talent. You see, my friend, being a winner is much different from having the potential to win. Everyone has the potential; it’s what you do with that potential that really matters. Nothing is more inspiring than a person with seemingly mediocre talent rising against the odds to become a champion by way of hard work, effort, and perseverance toward their goals. Obviously, raw talent is important, but the difference-maker between first and the rest of the pack is usually desire.

I’ve spent my life studying, thinking, teaching, living, and sharing motivation. I’ve learned why some people do better than others. As a matter of fact, I’ve now written thirty books on the subject that have been translated into forty different languages and dialects, and I’ve spoken to thousands of audiences in front of millions of people. The Ziglar team has created more than fifty audio programs and hundreds of customized audio presentations through the years. I’m grateful that I have been able to see so many lives transformed through these various methods of communication. My core philosophy on winning and motivation is summed up by saying that you were born to win, but in order to be the winner you were born to be, you have to plan to win and prepare to win before you can expect to win. The playing field of life is not level, and for you to compete in the game of life, you need an equalizer of some kind. In the old West, the equalizer was the six-shooter. It enabled a little guy to chop a bigger man down to size.

Desire is also an equalizer—and nowadays is highly encouraged over a six-shooter! Desire creates an edge. Desire produces the energy to get out of bed when you don’t feel like it. Desire gives you the power to run the last one hundred yards of a marathon when you think even one more step is impossible! Desire gives you the will to do the tough things your competition may not be willing to do. Desire is the mother of motivation, because it is where motivation is born. Desire will pull you across the finish line and give you victory!

-  by Zig Ziglar

Victor Frankl once wrote, “Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitudes in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Frankl was right. Attitude is a choice. You could be faced with a thousand problems, many or most over which you have absolutely no control. However, there is always one thing you are in complete and absolute control of and that is your own attitude.

When you surrender control of your attitude to what appears to be a negative situation, you will react to that situation. More often than not, reacting is inappropriate. On the other hand, if you were to remain objective, you would respond to the situation appropriately, thereby creating a winning situation.

If attitude is such an important word, why do so few people understand it? To be honest, it wasn’t until I was in my late 20s when I finally understood its full impact. All through my teens and into my early adult life, I can’t tell you the number of times that I heard, “Bob, if you’d just change your attitude, you would do a lot better.” In retrospect I can easily see the cause of my problem. I didn’t know what attitude was, let alone know how to change it!

Attitude is the composite of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your conscious mind controls feeling and ultimately dictates whether your feelings will be positive or negative by your choice of thoughts, then your body displays those choices through action and behavior.

Attitude is actually a creative cycle that begins with your choice of thoughts. You do choose your thoughts and that choice is where your attitude originates. As you internalize ideas or become emotionally involved with your thoughts, you create the second stage in forming an attitude; you move your entire being – mind and body – into a new “vibration.” Your conscious awareness of this vibration is referred to as “feeling”.Your feelings are then expressed in actions or behaviors that produce the various results in your life.

Positive results are always the effect of a positive attitude. Attitude and results are inseparable. They follow one another like night follows day. What I mean by that is: one is the cause, the other, the result. There is a term we use to distinguish this “cause and effect” relationship, it is called The Law of Cause and Effect. Simply stated, if you think in negative terms, you will get negative results; if you think in positive terms you will achieve positive results. Ralph Waldo Emerson reiterated that same point when he said, “A person is what they think about all day long.” The results you achieve in life are nothing more than an expression of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Take a close look at your life and evaluate the results you are achieving in various areas. See if you are able to relate your attitude to your results.

Winning and losing are opposite sides of the same coin – and that coin is attitude. There are many things wrong in this world; unfortunately that is all some people are able to see. Those who view the world in this light are often unhappy and somewhat cynical. Usually, their life is one of lack and limitation and it almost appears as if they move from one bad experience to another. I know people who are like this and I’m certain you do as well. It would appear as if they were born with a streak of bad luck and it has followed them around their whole life. These individuals are quick to blame circumstances or other people for their problems, rather than accepting responsibility for their life and their attitude.

Conversely, there are others who are forever winning and living the good life. They are the real movers and shakers who make things happen. They seem to go from one major accomplishment to another. They’re in control of their life; they know where they are going and know they will get there. They are the real winners in life and their wins are a matter of choice.

You can experience that kind of life as well, you only need to decide. Making that simple decision is the first step to a new life. Dorothea Brand once said, “Act as if it were impossible to fail,” and I challenge you to do so. By simply becoming aware that you can choose your thoughts each and every day, you will change your entire outlook. You have the power to choose an abundant life no matter your circumstances. That active choice will allow other positive people and opportunities to be attracted into your life. Don’t wait to experience all the wonderful things the universe has in store for you. Start today by working on your attitude and welcome the abundant life that you were meant to lead.

To your success,
Bob Proctor

This is the season for goal setting. It’s the time to start with a clean slate and fill your slate for 2012 with tangible, incremental steps to your ultimate dreams.

One of the major reasons so few people reach their goals is that most people don’t set specific goals and the mind just dismisses them as irrelevant. Most people want financial security, but have never considered how much money it will take. The mind cannot begin to formulate the strategies and actions required without specific information. Your mind will simply not respond to a request to get rich, have more, do better or make money. You must act like a bank loan officer with your goals.

The reason loan officers want to see a detailed business plan is that they know the entrepreneurs who are precise and specific are the ones who will succeed and pay off their loans.

If you ever begin to feel that you are losing your drive, if you feel like your energy level is down, your frustration level is up and you just can’t seem to muster the enthusiasm to face a challenge, check the pulling power of your goals. You may have outgrown your current targets and present lifestyle. It may be time for motivation by elevation. Raise your sights and challenge yourself with some goals that are farther out on the horizon.

This may require more knowledge, new skills, a new lifestyle. If so, that’s great! Many people resist goal-setting because they assume it leads to a formula-driven, highly uncreative life. Actually, the exact opposite can be true. People who passively assume that everything will somehow work out in the end can hardly be termed creative. They’re not creating their lives; they’re just hoping against hope that something good will happen to them.

Setting worthwhile goals is a much more imaginative approach. It’s fashioning and molding the life of your choice. It’s approaching your life the way an artist might stand before a new canvas, on which a beautiful painting can be crafted. There are other useful metaphors for creativity in goal-setting. The rudder of a plane, for example, is small and rigid, like a short-term goal you might accomplish in just one day. But the rudder can turn the plane in any direction the pilot chooses. In that, there’s a great deal of freedom and flexibility.

Once you set a goal, you can adjust and fine-tune it any way you wish. That’s creativity. And persistence is what allows you to keep progressing toward the goal no matter how many adjustments are required, and no matter how long it takes to accomplish.

The mind is the most magnificent bio-computer ever created. But remember, like a computer, it only responds to specific instructions, not to vague ideas. So come alive in 2012! Get laser focus and goals that are just out of reach, but not out of sight.

-by Denis Waitley

Obesity has a common cause (overeating the wrong foods and not getting enough exercise) as well as a universal solution (eating the right amount of the right foods and exercising). That’s the truth you can take to the blood bank, I assure you.

FALSEHOOD: Once you reach a certain age, you can’t get in shape.
TRUTH: You can improve your health and energy at any age.

You can improve your physical fitness, boost your energy and even improve your mental performance at any age when you start feeding your body the right way.

FALSEHOOD: To be healthy, just stop eating bad foods.
TRUTH: Your health is enhanced by eating the right foods.

There is so much emphasis in diet books on what not to eat and so much misinformation in the media about how “bad” food is for us I’m increasingly concerned that what’s being overlooked is the truth that health is enhanced and our energy enriched by eating the right foods. Your body needs essential nutrients every day, and it’s vitally important to understand that food is the ally, not the enemy.

FALSEHOOD: You should not eat for “emotional reasons.”
TRUTH: You should enjoy eating, and it should be a pure pleasure!

The idea that you should not enjoy eating, that you should somehow find a way to eat that doesn’t feel good, is absolutely ridiculous.

I can’t help but laugh when I hear these so-called “nutrition experts” insist, “Food should be used only as fuel for the body.” That’s like saying the only reason to have sex is to procreate. That’s silly and it’s not realistic.

I wholeheartedly believe that you should enjoy food, and it should be a pure pleasure. There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t look forward to your meals and count on them to help you feel good. A delicious dinner can settle your nerves after a hectic day. A great breakfast can lift your mood and help you get ready to take on the day ahead. And a sweet, satisfying dessert can put a smile on your face. It does mine!

There’s really no reason not to honor the tradition of making food a part of the process of celebrating holidays, birthdays and special occasions as well. I think it’s perfectly fine to reach for a bowl of chicken soup when your body’s aching and you’re feeling under the weather too.

Through Eating for Life, you’ll learn all about the right foods—the ones that are healthy and nourishing. And when you make those the mainstay of your meals, you can and will enjoy them. And you can eat to fuel your body, while also feeding positive emotions.

FALSEHOOD: To stabilize blood sugar, you have to stop eating carbohydrates.
TRUTH: Eating protein and carbohydrates balances blood sugar.

Today’s carbohydrate confusion began years ago when we fell for the low-fat fad. When food manufacturers began removing fat from foods and replacing it with highly processed carbohydrates, our collective blood sugar went through the roof, and the problems began.

As it turns out, dietary fat wasn’t really the problem after all. However, in somewhat of a knee-jerk reaction, now the food fad is to cut carbs in an effort to bring blood sugar levels back into balance. Ten years from now, I guarantee we’ll be looking back at this current craze and seeing some very serious side effects.

The truth is, cutting carbs is not the healthiest way to stabilize blood sugar levels. Carbohydrates are essential to eating right. The solution is to eat meals balanced with protein, quality carbohydrates and the essential fats your body needs.

You’ll see 150 examples of balanced meals in Eating for Life. And I’m sure you’ll get the idea. When you eat balanced meals consistently, you will find energy you might have thought you lost forever. And you’ll lose body fat you may have believed you were stuck with.

FALSEHOOD: In order to be satisfied, you need to eat large portions.
TRUTH: Quality, not just quantity, produces healthy satisfaction.

Our bodies crave quality nutrition, not merely massive quantities of food. So many people in America today have it completely backward, though. They believe the more they eat, the better they’ll feel.

Supersized portions at restaurants, fast-food chains and packaged goods at the grocery stores are obviously all playing into the falsehood that more is better. Yet so many people are stuffed but still “starving” for nutrition. The truth is, our bodies are satisfied by high-quality meals, not just big quantities of junk food.

FALSEHOOD: To make a change, you need to wait until you’re all ready.
TRUTH: Don’t wait until you’re “ready.” Please, do it now.

You need not wait until you are “all ready” to make a change in your style of living. Don’t fool yourself into believing now is just “too soon.” If you wait until everything is perfect in your life before you make a change for the better, you’ll be waiting forever! Truth is, the time to do it is now. The longer you wait before you take action, the more you delay the rich rewards that are rightfully yours. Energy, strength, renewed health and decreased body fat… please begin feeding these benefits now.

- Bill Phillips

With the current times, each of us needs to understand the magnitude of social and economic change in the world. In the past, change in business and social life was incremental and a set of personal strategies for achieving excellence was not required. Today, in the knowledge-based world, where change is the rule, a set of personal strategies is essential for success, even survival. Never again will you be able to go to your place of business on autopilot, comfortable and secure that the organization, state or government will provide for and look after you. You must look in the mirror when you ask who is responsible for your success or failure. You must become a lifelong learner and leader, for to be a follower is to fall hopelessly behind the pace of progress. The power brokers in the new global arena will be the knowledge facilitators. Ignorance will be even more the tyrant and enslaver than in the past. As you look in the mirror to see the 21st Century you, there will also be another image standing beside you. It is your competition. Your competition, from now on, will be a hungry immigrant with a wireless, hand-held, digital assistant. Hungry for food, hungry for a home, for a new car, for security, for a college education. Hungry for knowledge. Smart, quick thinking, skilled and willing to do anything necessary to be competitive in the world marketplace. Working long hours and Saturdays, staying open later, serving customers better and more cheerfully. To be a player in the 21st Century you have to be willing to give more in service than you receive in payment.

These are the new rules in the game of life. These are the actions you must take to be a leader and a winner in your personal and professional life. By mastering these profoundly simple action steps, you will be positioned to be a change master in the new century.

Action Step Number One – Consider Yourself Self-Employed, But Be a Team Player. What this means is that you are your own Chief Executive Officer of your future. Start thinking of yourself as a service company with a single employee. You’re a small company that puts your services to work for a larger company. Tomorrow you may sell those services to a different organization, but that doesn’t mean you’re any less loyal to your current employer. Taking responsibility for yourself in this way does mean that you never equate your personal long-term interests with your employer’s.

The first idea is resolving not to suffer the fate of those who lost their jobs and found their skills were obsolete. The second is to begin immediately the process of protecting yourself against that possibility – by becoming proactive instead of reactive.

Ask yourself these questions:

How vulnerable am I? What trends must I watch? What information must I gain? What knowledge do I lack?

Again, think of yourself as a company. Set up a training department in your mind and make certain your top employee is updating his or her skills. Make sure you have your own private pension plan, knowing that you are responsible for your own financial security.

Entrusting the government or an employer, other than yourself, with your retirement income is like hiring a compulsive gambler as your accountant.

You’re the CEO of your daily life who must have the vision to set your goals and allocate your resources. The mindset of being responsible for your own future used to be crucial only to the self-employed, but it has become essential for us all. Today’s typical employees are no longer one-career people. Most will have five separate careers in their lifetimes. Remember, your competition is a hungry immigrant with a laptop. Action Step Number One is to consider yourself to be self-employed, but be a team player.

Action Step Number Two – Be Flexible in the Face of Daily Surprises. We live in a time-starved, overstressed, violent society. Much of our over-reaction to what happens to us every day is a result of our self-indulgent value system, where we blame others for our problems, look to organizations or the government for our solutions, thirst for immediate sensual gratification and believe we should have privileges without responsibilities. This condition is manifested in the high crime rate and in the increase in violence in the work place where employees blame their managers for threatening their security.

I have learned how to be flexible in the face of daily surprises, which is one of the most important action traits for a leader. I really haven’t been angry for about 17 years. During that time, no one has tried to physically harm me or someone close to me. I’ve learned to adapt to stress in life and reserve my fear or anger for imminently physically dangerous situations. I rarely, if ever, get upset with what people say, do or don’t do, even if it inconveniences me. I do react emotionally when I see someone physically or emotionally abusing or victimizing another. But I’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff.

The Serenity Prayer, “Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference,” is a valuable measuring tool we can apply to our lives. Simple yet profound words to live by.

— Denis Waitley

…you can change your life by changing you habits. Here are some guidepost rules regarding change:

Rule 1: No one can change you and you can’t really change anyone else. You must admit your need, stop denying your problem, and accept responsibility for changing yourself

Rule 2: Habits aren’t broken, but replaced – by layering new behavior patterns on top of the old ones. This usually takes a least a year or two. Forget the 30-day wonder ones. I don’t know where motivational speakers got the idea that it takes twenty-one days to gain a new habit. It may take that long to remember the motions of a new skill, but after many years of being you, it takes far longer to settle into a new habit pattern and stay there. Habits are like submarines. They run silent and deep. They also are like comfortable beds, in that they’re easy to get into, but difficult to get out of. So don’t expect immediate, amazing results. Give your skills’ training a year and stick with it, knowing that your new ways can last a lifetime.

Rule 3: A daily routine adhered to over time will become second nature, riding a bicycle. Negative behavior leads to a losing lifestyle, positive behavior to a wining lifestyle. Practice make permanent in both cases.

When I was in college, I heard someone say something that has been with me ever since. It was something that demonstrated to me a positive attitude and the choice to take something that most people dread, and change it into a motivating factor.

He called the alarm clock the “opportunity clock.”

When does an alarm go off? When something bad is happening! Well, waking up isn’t bad. Waking up is good! In fact, waking up is an opportunity. Each new day brings with it the opportunity to enjoy our families and other people. It enables us the opportunity to work hard, and earn a living that will enable us in turn to provide for others and ourselves.

Each day brings us the opportunity to help others and serve them in such a way to make our communities better places. We get the opportunity again to dream and achieve those dreams. We have the opportunity to bask in the glory at the top of the mountain or learn valuable lessons as we walk through the valley. What opportunities!

It’s all in the perspective and attitude, folks. I bet you can’t wait to go to bed tonight and set your opportunity clock for tomorrow morning!

- Chris Widener

The gap is widening. Which will you be?

We are standing on the precipice of 2012. Still at the beginning of one of the greatest periods of opportunity ever in human history. While there has always been opportunity, the sea of changes we’ve experienced over the past few years have unearthed possibilities unlike anything ever seen before — particularly for the budding entrepreneur.

As Industrial Age corporate structures and monolithic systems begin to crumble, those who once maintained unquestioned power have been dethroned, and everything — I mean, everything — is up for grabs.

This, combined with recent technological innovations, has changed the game forever. Today, we are all wired directly to each other. No one has exclusive access to markets or distribution channels.

Your local community is no longer  your only marketplace — the entire world is, instantly, 24/7. The world has been made flat, and so has the playing field of opportunity.

Fifty years from now your children and children’s children will look back with envy — wishing they were you, right here, right now, in 2012, when  this new frontier was still unclaimed.

But be forewarned. This newly leveled playing field also brings unrivaled competition — not just from the business down the street or members of your local chamber of commerce. Your new competition is in every neighborhood, every chamber of commerce, every main street in the world… and every basement or bedroom occupied by a teenager with a laptop.

As we experience this duality of unparalleled opportunity and voracious competition, the gap will continue to widen between the haves and have-nots. This gap will not be caused by disparities in education, entitlements, wealth or class. It will be a skills gap.

Staying competitive in the 21st century will be directly related to your ability to adapt, grow and continually improve your skills. Now more than ever, a ceaseless commitment to your personal development will be your greatest asset in staying relevant and distinguishing you from the competition.

If you want to dominate your market in 2012, learn how to ignite your indomitable inner power and radically speed up your achievements in this free video

These are times of enormous opportunity, but only for those who prepare themselves to seize those opportunities. Our commitment at SUCCESS is to deliver you the ideas, resources and inspiration that will help you continually advance your skills, elevate your mindset and expand your creative potential.

We have a sensational editorial calendar planned for you in 2012. We are excited to take you with us on what is sure to be a fun, prosperous and life-enriching experience.

The starter’s gun has been fired.

Carpe diem!

What will you do to stay relevant, expand your personal development and continually improve your skills in 2012? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Source: http://darrenhardy.success.com/2011/12/the-haves-and-have-nots/?utm_source=Listrak&utm_medium=Email&utm_term=http%3a%2f%2fdarrenhardy.success.com%2f2011%2f12%2fthe-haves-and-have-nots%2f%23more&utm_campaign=Don’t+Rely+on+’Greatness’#more

Self-knowledge has always been the key to preparing for competition. Knowledge of your attributes, abilities, interests, strengths, weaknesses, and traits is essential to riding the front end of the wave of change into the new century. To fully assess your own talents, realize that studies confirm that what we love and do well as children continues as our latent or manifest talent as adults.

Examination of your weekend or evening interests might reveal a gem of potential you can apply to your vocation. I strongly suggest you don’t unthinkingly relegate what you love to do for yourself solely to hobbies. You might make it, or at least integrate it into your life’s work.

The acquisition of knowledge, which is the new global power, is a lifelong experience, not a collection of facts or skills. Not long ago, what you learned in school was largely all you needed to learn to secure a career. With knowledge expanding exponentially, this is no longer true. Hundreds of scientific papers are published daily.

Every thirty seconds, some new technological company produces yet another innovation. Your formal education has a very short shelf life. Lifelong learning, once a luxury for the few, has become absolutely vital to continued success. Continue gaining expertise and avoid thinking like an expert.

Action Idea: An excellent benchmarking exercise is to spend a weekend with key associates or family members and dust off your childhood memories. Remember what you really enjoyed and wanted to do most as a child. The next activity in assessing your interests is considering your current ones. What do you most enjoy after work? What do you most want to do on weekends and vacations? What are your hobbies? Can you bring more of what you enjoy into your business life?

Action Step: Increase your reading, writing and vocabulary proficiency. One of the most important qualities of successful leaders is an ability to express thoughts and knowledge. Research by management and human resource experts confirms that no matter what the field of employment, people with large vocabularies—those able to speak clearly and concisely, using simple as well as descriptive words—are best at accomplishing their goals. Well-chosen, carefully considered words can close the sale, negotiate the raise, enhance relationships, and change destinies.

In a world of email, fax dispersal, voice mail, sound bites, concise reports, business plans, and meeting briefs, the individuals who can articulate their goals, substantiate their claims, and support their visions, will own the future. In the 21st century, literacy will be the major difference between the haves and have-nots.

Why do fewer than 10 percent of the public buy and read nonfiction books? One reason is that many would rather get home than get ahead. They are motivated to get by and get pulled along by the company, the economy, or the government.

Another reason is that many individuals believe that information found in books, computer programs, and training sessions has no value in the business world. How self-deluding!

As the new tools of productivity become the Internet, the Digital Versatile Disc, direct digital download of text, audio and video, and the combination of the interactive computer with telecommunications, the people who know how to control the new technologies will acquire power, while those who thought that education ends with the diploma are destined for low-paying, low-satisfaction jobs. In almost the blink of an eye, our society has passed from the Industrial Age to the Knowledge Era.

Increase your reading by 100 percent. Decrease your television watching, and that of any children in your family by 50 percent. Surf the Internet and subscribe to book summaries, or download free chapters from different sources. By reading book summaries, you can gain the essence of all the top business books in a very brief period of time.

Action Idea: Read at least one book each month, and listen to at least one additional audio book during your commute or downtime. One of the best sources for business audio books online is MP3audiobooks.com.

All kinds of reading and listening to fiction and nonfiction will increase your vocabulary, writing and presentation skills. Incredibly, a mere 3,500 words separate the average person from those with superior vocabularies.

Keep a dictionary beside you when you read and look up every word you don’t fully understand. Doing that on the spot helps make the word part of your vocabulary forever. And don’t depend on your computer’s spellchecker for your spelling. Not all email service includes spell check. Also, you may be called upon to write longhand notes, memos, or information on whiteboards or blackboards at meetings. You not only want to use the right words. You also will want to spell them correctly.

A great way to increase your literacy is to engage in Internet conferences and to read summaries on the web from services like Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and other booksellers. The more interactive you become in communications and the less you indulge in prime-time television, the more successful you’ll become in all areas of your life. Knowledge is the new power. And literacy is the door to knowledge. Hopefully, attending this “Winning for Life” program will be one of the keys that will open the door to your future for you.

- by Denis Waitley

Step No. 1: When you change your thinking, you change your beliefs. 

I am going to work you through a six-step process of how to change, and it begins with thinking. It begins with the mind. Beliefs are nothing more than a by-product of what you have thought long enough about that you have bought into—always remember that. What you believe is a collection of continual thoughts that have formed themselves into a conviction.

“Although not all change is the same, there is one common element to change, and that is thinking.” That is a great truth. That is not mine, it’s out of a book called, The Seven Levels of Change. When you break down the process of thinking into manageable number of steps, you reduce the perceived risk associated with change. Being creative is when you think about your thinking, being innovative is when you act on your ideas.

Step No. 2: When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations. 
Belief is the knowledge that we can do something. It is the inner feeling that what we undertake, we can accomplish. For the most part, all of us have the ability to look at something and know whether we can do it. So, in belief there is power: our eyes are opened; our opportunities become plain; our visions become realities. Our beliefs control everything we do. If we believe we can or we believe we cannot, we are correct. Accomplishment is more than a matter of working harder; it is a matter of believing positively. It’s called the “sure enough” factor. If you expect to succeed, “sure enough,” you will; if you expect to fail, “sure enough,” you will. We become outside what we believe inside.

Step No. 3: When you change your expectations, you change your attitude. I love Ben Franklin’s quote: “Blessed is the one who expects nothing, for he shall receive it.” I heard a story the other day about a man who went to the fortuneteller who looked in the crystal ball and said, “Oh, my. This is not good. I look in this ball and see that you will be poor and unhappy until you’re 45 years old.” The guy said, “Oh, that’s terrible. Well, then what’s going to happen?” The fortuneteller said, “You’ll get used to it.”

Your expectations are going to determine your attitude. Most people get used to average; they get used to second best. Nelson Boswell said, “The first and most important step toward success is the expectation that we can succeed.”

Step No. 4: When you change your attitude, you change your behavior. 
William James was right when he said, “That which holds our attention determines our action.” When our attitude begins to change, when we become involved with something, our behavior begins to change. The reason that we have to make personal changes is that we cannot take our people on a trip that we have not made. Too many leaders try to be travel agents instead of tour guides—they try to send people where they have never been. We give them a brochure and a “Bon Voyage!” And off they go and we wave to them, and we ask them to tell us how it was when they come back. A tour guide says, “Let me take you where I’ve been. Let me tell you what I have gone through. Let me tell you what I know. Let me show you what I’ve experienced in my life.”

Step No. 5: When you change your behavior, you change your performance. 
Leroy Eims said, “How can you know what is in your heart? Look at your behavior. There is no better sign of the heart than the life.” The truest test of where a person is going is their behavior.
Unfortunately, most people would rather live with old problems than new solutions. We would rather be comfortable than correct; we would rather stay in a routine than make changes. Even when we know that the changes are going to be better for us, we often don’t make them because we feel uncomfortable or awkward about making that kind of a change.
Until we can get used to living with something that is not comfortable, we cannot get any better.

Step No. 6: When you change your performance, you change your life. 
Change makes a person feel alone, even if others are going through it. You say, “Oh, man! Goodness! I know the others are changing, but I don’t think they’re having the difficulty I’m having.” There is something about the awkwardness and the time that it takes to make proper changes that just seems to isolate you from everyone else, even when a group is going through it together. You just kind of feel, “But my situation’s a little bit different, and I think I’m just not quite as fast as the other ones,” and there’s a tendency to feel isolated, lonely, and withdrawn when you’re going through this change.

It is easier to turn failure into success than an excuse into a possibility. A person can fail and turn around and understand their failure, make it a success; but I want to tell you, a person who makes excuses for everything will never truly succeed. I promise you, when you excuse what you are doing and excuse where you are, and you allow the exceptions, you fail to reach your potential. Don’t you know some people who just have an excuse for everything? Why they could not, should not, did not, would not, have not, will not. If “ifs” and “buts” were candies and nuts, we would all have a Merry Christmas. It is impossible to turn excuses into possibilities.
Hope is the foundational principle for all change. People change because they have hope. If people do not have hope, they will not change. You are responsible for the changes that you make in your life, but the good news is, you can make the changes you need to make in your life.

- Dr. John C. Maxwell

How dramatically we  can change our results is largely a function of imagination. In 1960, it was a  technological impossibility for man to travel into outer space. Within ten  years, however, the first man stepped out onto the surface of the moon. The miraculous  process of converting the dream into reality began when one voice challenged  the scientific community to do whatever was necessary to see to it that America  “places a man on the moon by the end of this decade.” That challenge  awakened the spirit of a nation by planting the seed of possible future  achievement into the fertile soil of imagination. With that one bold challenge  the impossible became a reality.

- THE SAME PRINCIPLE  APPLIES TO EVERY OTHER AREA OF OUR LIFE! -

Can a poor person  become wealthy? Of course! The unique combination of desire, planning, effort  and perseverance will always work its magic. The question is not whether the  formula for success will work, but rather whether the person will work the  formula. That is the unknown variable. That is the challenge that confronts us  all. We can all go from wherever we are to wherever we want to be. No dream is  impossible provided we first have the courage to believe in it.

- Jim Rohn

When you plan and  prepare carefully, you can legitimately expect to have success in your efforts.  When you recognize and develop the winning qualities that you were born with,  the winner you were born to be emerges. When you plan and prepare to make a  sale, for example, you can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all  your expectations are going to come to pass, you give yourself an infinitely  better chance of succeeding by taking the proper steps. Regardless of your goal—losing  weight, making more sales, furthering your education, earning a promotion,  saving money for a new home or an exotic vacation—you can expect to achieve  your goal if you plan and prepare for it.

Also understand that the  path from where you are to where you want to be is not always smooth and  straight. The reason for the twists and bumps is simple, and it has nothing to  do with you. It has more to do with the fact that not everyone is as interested  in your success as you are. Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts;  others who are in competition with you and have little or no integrity may try  to sabotage your efforts.

Keep in mind, though,  that when you hit those roadblocks your character, commitment, and attitude are  the determining factors in your success…. Carefully review your plan of  action, seek wise counsel, and be particularly careful to feed your mind good  information. An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come up with  creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks and difficulties.

Bottom line: Expect success and you can achieve  it!

- Zig Ziglar

Most of us never see our dreams come true. Instead of soaring through the clouds, our dreams languish like a broken-down airplane confined to its hangar. Through life, I have come to identify five common reasons why dreams don’t take flight.

No. 1: We Have Been Discouraged from Dreaming by Others 
We have to pilot our own dreams; we cannot entrust them to anyone else. People who aren’t following their own dreams resent us pursuing ours. Such people feel inadequate when we succeed, so they try to drag us down.

If we listen to external voices, then we allow our dreams to be hijacked. At some point, other people will place limitations on us by doubting our abilities. When surrounded by the turbulence of criticism, we have to grasp the controls tightly to keep from being knocked off course.

No. 2: We Are Hindered by Past Disappointments and Hurts
In the movie Top Gun, Tom Cruise plays Maverick, a young, talented and cocky aviator who dreams of being the premier pilot in the U.S. Navy. In the film’s opening scenes, Maverick showcases his flying ability but also displays a knack for pushing the envelope with regard to safety. Midway through the movie, Maverick’s characteristic aggression spells disaster. His plane crashes, killing his best friend and co-pilot.

Although cleared of wrongdoing, the painful memory of the accident haunts Maverick. He quits taking risks and loses his edge. Struggling to regain his poise, he considers giving up on his dream. Although the incident nearly wrecks Maverick’s career, he eventually reaches within to find the strength to return to the sky.

Like Maverick, many of us live with the memory of failure embedded in our psyche. Perhaps a business we started went broke, or we were fired from a position of leadership. Disappointment is the gap that exists between expectation and reality, and all of us have encountered that gap. Failure is a necessary and natural part of life, but if we’re going to attain our dreams, then, like Maverick, we have to summon the courage to deal with past hurts.

No. 3: We Fall into the Habit of Settling for Average
Average is the norm for a reason. Being exceptional demands extra effort, sustained inspiration, and uncommon discipline. When we attempt to give flight to our dreams, we have to overcome the weight of opposition. Like gravity, life’s circumstances constantly pull on our dreams, tugging us down to mediocrity.

Most of us don’t pay the price to overcome the opposition to our dreams. We may start out inspired, but through time we fatigue. Although never intending to abandon our dreams, we begin to make concessions here and there. Through time, our lives become mundane, and our dreams slip away.

No. 4: We Lack the Confidence Needed to Pursue Our Dreams
Dreams are fragile. They will be buffeted by assaults from all sides. As such, they must be supplied with the extra strength of self-confidence.

In Amelia Earhart’s day, women were not supposed to fly airplanes. If she had lacked self-assurance, she never would have even attempted to be a pilot. Instead, Earhart confidently chased after her dream, and she was rewarded with both fulfillment and fame.

No. 5: We Lack the Imagination to Dream
For thousands of years, mankind traveled along the ground: by foot, by horse-and-buggy, by locomotive, and eventually by automobile. Thanks to the dreams of Orville and Wilbur Wright, we now hop across oceans in a matter of hours. The imaginative brothers overcame ridicule and doubt to pioneer human flight, and the world has never been the same.

Many of us play small because we do not allow ourselves to dream. We trap ourselves in reality and never dare to go beyond what we can see with our eyes. Imagination lifts us beyond average by giving us a vision of life that surpasses what we are experiencing currently. Dreams infuse our spirit with energy and spur us on to greatness.

- John C. Maxwell

Albert Einstein once made a wonderful point about his theory of relativity: He only came up with it once, but it kept him in pipe tobacco for years.

Einstein realized what more leaders need to discover: that a major breakthrough can launch an organization from good to great, so great leaders always push for that breakthrough.

Breakthroughs occur when we continually:
1. Meet needs (which allows us to stay in the arena);
2. Improve ourselves and our team; and
3. Succeed. It’s a fact that there is no success like success.

Pushing for a breakthrough generates a leader’s best friend—momentum. Momentum makes your work or your mission easier to accomplish than anything else. I often tell leaders that momentum is worth three staff members. In fact, if some leaders would get rid of the right three staff members, they might instantly get some momentum.

Momentum is the great exaggerator for both the good and the bad. When you have no momentum, things look worse than they really are. And when you have momentum, it makes things look better than they ever seemed to be.

So you’ve got to push for the breakthrough—from buildup to breakthrough, from good to great. Good is buildup; great is breakthrough.

But there’s a temptation that comes with a breakthrough and the momentum that comes with it—the temptation to ease up and celebrate the victory. You just kind of want to sit back and say, “Wow! Aren’t we good?” It just feels good to know you’ve achieved something. And while it’s OK to celebrate the touchdowns, we have to remember that the next play in the game just might get us beat.

In fact, dancing in the end zone is exactly the opposite of what you should do. When you have a breakthrough, that’s when you spend more time, more energy and more money. Once you have that ball rolling, the compounding effect is so huge you don’t ever want that ball to stop.
Instead, the time to ease up is when things have slowed down. When you don’t have momentum and when you don’t have a breakthrough—when the train already has stopped—get off and take a rest. You weren’t going anywhere anyway!

But once the train gets going again, don’t get off. When you’ve got momentum and the breakthrough, it’s dangerous to jump off. You could hurt yourself. You could hurt your organization.

So if you want to go from good leadership to great leadership, keep pushing toward a breakthrough. And when momentum arrives, either because you are near the goal or because you’ve broken through, don’t ease up. That’s when you push the pedal to the metal.

- John C. Maxwell

The early life of Einstein gives us some clues to the great man he would become. He was never one to dominate conversation to prove his intellect. Even as a child he didn’t talk much. It has been said that he didn’t talk until the age of 3 (there are conflicting accounts on this). But it took him a little longer to talk than the average child. Yet, we must remember that Albert Einstein was far more than average.

Einstein’s parents hardly coddled their firstborn. They gave him tremendous freedom to roam and grow. This no doubt had a positive outcome on his development. When he was just 4, he was allowed to roam the neighborhood alone. Believe it or not, his parents even encouraged him to cross the street on his own at this young age. They watched the first few times to ensure that he looked both ways, but soon he was on his own.

Now keep in mind, when he was crossing the street, he wasn’t dodging Fords, Chevrolets, Mercedes or cars with a lot of horsepower. He was dodging only true horse power! In other words, he was dodging horse-drawn carriages. But, it was still very dangerous for the young child. In our world today, I would not encourage my 4-year-old to roam the neighborhood alone or even allow him near the street. That being said, the principles of self-reliance and risk that Einstein’s parents implemented in his life are ones we can perhaps model on a smaller scale. Einstein certainly modeled this behavior with his own son on a smaller scale.

In his late 20s, Einstein moved to Zurich with his first wife, Mileva, and their son. Friedrich Adler was living near Einstein and they became great friends. They would often get together to share ideas. Oftentimes their sons would get rowdy and it would be hard for the two men to talk. Other parents might barge in and tell their sons to be quiet, that they are having a meeting. Not Adler and Einstein. These great thinkers would climb into the attic to carry on their conversation. They allowed their boys to grow and explore even if they were noisy.

His freedom as a child and the freedom he gave his son were in part due to his attitude on failure. He was not afraid to fail. After all, he tackled some of the most perplexing questions of our universe. Many would have shied away from tackling these questions simply because the rate of failure seemed extraordinarily high. However, it is evident that Einstein was not afraid to be wrong or to fail.

When Einstein was 50, reporters were hounding him for an interview during the time in which he was working on a unified field theory. Put into layman’s terms, this meant he was working on a theory that would explain the entire universe in a single mathematical equation. He had the attention of the world. Reporters parked outside his home in the vain hope for an interview. Many kept all-night vigils waiting for the story. As a rule, Einstein did not chase the spotlight and dodged the requests often. It was the same in this instance as well. He did, however, allow an interview with one reporter from The New York Times. You see The New York Times was edited by Carr Van Anda, and Van Anda had found an error in one of Einstein’s previous equations. Imagine that! The editor of The New York Times finding an error in the math of Einstein! Don’t you think that Einstein must have been irate that the editor would point this out? He must have been insulted. Actually, on the contrary, Einstein was impressed and that is the reason he allowed an interview to the reporter from The New York Times. You see, Einstein was not afraid to be wrong, and when corrected he was not insulted.

At Princeton, Albert Einstein was more like a kindly uncle. When he arrived in 1935, he was asked what he would require for his study. He replied, “A desk, some pads and a pencil, and a large wastebasket—to hold all of my mistakes.”

Albert Einstein spent his last two decades trying to reconcile quantum physics with relativity. His Holy Grail—a so-called “Unified Field Theory”—eluded him. He once casually mentioned to a colleague that he was on the verge of his “greatest discovery ever,” before admitting that “it didn’t pan out” just two weeks later.

One day in his twilight years, he received a letter from a 15-year-old girl asking for help with a homework assignment. She soon received a curious reply: a page full of unintelligible diagrams, along with an attempt at consolation: “Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics,” Einstein told her, “I can assure you that mine are much greater!”

The man who was the greatest success at mathematics also failed a lot at them. But that didn’t stop him from moving forward.

Not only was he willing to take risks in math, he also risked when he gambled. While attending a physics symposium in Las Vegas one year, Albert Einstein, to the astonishment of many of his sober-minded colleagues, spent a fair amount of time at the craps and roulette tables.

“Einstein is gambling as if there were no tomorrow,” an eminent physicist remarked one day. “What troubles me,” another replied, “is that he may know something!”

Too often in life, we attempt to spend all our energy demonstrating how we are right instead of accepting constructive criticism and getting better. This is not true of Einstein. Not only was he not afraid of being wrong, he was not afraid of being corrected. Ask yourself honestly: How do you respond when you are corrected? Do you lash out or are you grateful?

If you want to develop the mind of Einstein. You must not be afraid to fail; allow yourself the opportunity to fail. Herman Melville put it this way: “He who has never failed somewhere, that man can not be great.”

Thomas Edison, when he was constructing the light bulb, built 1,000 prototypes that did not work before he successfully built the one that we still use today. A reporter asked Edison how it felt to fail 1,000 times. Edison replied, “You misunderstand. I did not fail 1,000 times. I successfully found 1,000 ways that the light bulb would not work.” Edison, like Einstein, did not view failure the way so many do. They viewed it as acceptable and a way to learn and grow.

The fear of failure could have paralyzed Einstein and Edison, yet it did not. What about you? Are you so paralyzed with fear that you have settled for mediocrity? Don’t allow that to happen. Embrace risk and failure. Learn that it is OK to be wrong, and run headlong into the rewards of risk as Einstein did.

—Ron White

If you were to evaluate the major influences in your life that have shaped the kind of person you are, this has to be high on the list: the people and thoughts you choose to allow into your life. Mr. Shoaff gave me a very important warning in those early days that I would like to share with you. He said, “Never underestimate the power of influence.” Indeed, the influence of those around us is so powerful! Many times we don’t even realize we’re being strongly affected because influences generally develop over an extended period of time.

Peer pressure is an especially powerful force because it is so subtle. If you’re around people who spend all they make, chances are excellent that you’ll spend all you make. If you are around people who go to more ball games than concerts, chances are excellent that you’ll do the same thing. If you are around people who don’t read, chances are excellent that you won’t read. People can keep nudging us off course a little at a time until finally, we find ourselves asking, “How did I get here?” Those subtle influences need to be studied carefully if we really want our lives to turn out the way we’ve planned.

With regard to this important point, let me give you three key questions to ask yourself. They may help you to make better analyses of your current associations.

Here is the first question: “Who am I around?” Make a mental note of the people with whom you most often associate. You’ve got to evaluate everybody who is able to influence you in any way.

The second question is: “What are these associations doing to me?” That’s a major question to ask. What have they got me doing? What have they got me listening to? What have they got me reading? Where have they got me going? What do they have me thinking? How have they got me talking? How have they got me feeling? What have they got me saying? You’ve got to make a serious study of how others are influencing you, both negatively and positively.

Here’s a final question: “Is that okay?” Maybe everyone you associate with has been a positive, energizing influence. Then again, maybe there are some bad apples in the bunch. All I’m suggesting here is that you take a close and objective look. Everything is worth a second look, especially the power of influence. Both will take you somewhere, but only one will take you in the direction you need to go.

It’s easy to just dismiss the things that influence our lives. One man says, “I live here, but I don’t think it matters. I’m around these people, but I don’t think it hurts.” I would take another look at that. Remember, everything matters! Sure, some things matter more than others, but everything amounts to something. You’ve got to keep checking to find out whether your associations are tipping the scales toward the positive or toward the negative. Ignorance is never the best policy. Finding out is the best policy.

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the little bird. He had his wing over his eye and he was crying. The owl said to the bird, “You are crying.” “Yes,” said the little bird, and he pulled his wing away from his eye. “Oh, I see,” said the owl. “You’re crying because the big bird pecked out your eye.” And the little bird said, “No, I’m not crying because the big bird pecked out my eye. I’m crying because I let him.”

It’s easy to let influence shape our lives, to let associations determine our direction, to let pressures overwhelm us, and to let tides take us. The big question is, are we letting ourselves become what we wish to become?

—Jim Rohn